This post is created in memory of my beloved late grandmother
who passed away on 1st June 2012.
We, (and we believe her as well) hope this will come in useful in helping the relatives of the deceased cope with the loss.
[I will be doing updates occassionally, so there may be additional information from time to time]
It is often not easy for you that the someone close to you to pass on and leave the world. Apart from physical stress and mental emotions that you have to go through, there will still be a lot of issues that you have to handle including funeral /wake, settling of property / bank accounts / cash, etc
With the passing on of my beloved grandmother and me being a observer rather than the person involved (who mainly is my dad), there are some important things that I noted which I think they are useful to share.
(This is in context of Singapore and figures quoted is Singapore dollars and with price levels in 2012)
In hospital
Bank account
If you have a joint account with the deceased, draw or transfer out the money immediately. Also applicable if you have the ATM card and pin of the deceased.
Some of the hospitals here have restrictions to how many people can visit the patient at any one point of time. Some allows 4 visitors or some 2. If your relative is in critical condition or the family was told by the doctor that there is little time left, most hospital usually understand and will waive the restriction.
What you have to do is to go to the visitor registration counter and tell the staff that the doctor said the patient will be passing on soon and they can usually overwrite the system for you to allow as many people as you require.
For banks (the case that we are dealing with is POSBank, but I believe that it is applicable throughout all banks) , we are informed that the bank will freeze the money immediately once they receive news that the account holder has passed away. The rest of the fund you have to wait till the bank receive legal instructions for them to release the funds.. Eg.: The will.
Probate / Letter of Administration
(Needed for selling of house / closure of bank accounts, etc)
Please refer to subordinate court website for more details
http://app.subcourts.gov.sg/civil/page.aspx?pageid=10967
If there is a will, it will be through a Probate which the Court will authorize the executor appointed by the deceased person to administer his estate in accordance to his/her Will.
If there is no will, it will be through a Letter of Administration which the Court will authorize the person named in it in accordance with the law to administer the estate.
[Above 2 paragraph information taken from the Subcourts website, please refer to the website, link above, for more information ]
The 2 procedures above, to my understanding, can be done be someone knowledgable without engaging a lawyer. A lawyer or law firm can provide a one stop service but charges at premium. We were looking at $1k (self) vs $3k (lawyer), so it depends on the budget you have and such. Time commitment should be another consideration other than the cost.
WAKE / FUNERAL
For deceased who passed on at the Singapore General Hospital (SGH), the body will be sent to SGH Blk 9 Autopsy / Mortuary building for autopsy and other related procedures. For deceased, who passed on at other hospital / places, the body will ultimately still be sent to SGH Blk 9 for the same reasons.
Usually, you can only collect the body the next da in the morning after the deceased has passed away. The casket people or the undertaker should know better, so you might want to check with those people.
Location of the wake
For HDB, it is usually held at the void deck. For condo, it will depend on whether you have a multi-purpose hall. For landed property, unless you have an open space, you will need to hold the wake at commercial caskets (like Singapore casket, Sin Ming Rd caskets...).
For our case, as there are apartments on the 1st storey of the HDB block that my grandma used to live in, we were offered a few options:
1) Multi-purpose court (opened air) which is located about 200m from her house
2) Mt Vernon
3) Commercial caskets
We opted for the open space after consideration of several factors:
- It will be nearer and more convenient for my grandma's neighbours and people who knew her and were living around the estate..
- Relatives are more familiar with this place rather than mt Vernon
- Mt Vernon would be a little too quiet at night. (we were afraid that it might get a little scary and dangerous, especially for the female members of the family)
- Commercial caskets such Singapore casket will be closed at night and family of the bereaved cannot stay overnight at these caskets.
(AKA "Lorry" photo)
This can be done anytime when your relative is alive. I would recommend doing this for the oldest generation in your family / extended family.
Not only you don't have to wait, the person can choose the photo that he/she like. Also there is the cost. If you make the photo in advance, it cost around $20 whereas if you get the casket people to do after your relative is deceased, it is going to cost you $90 to $100. About 5 times the amount.
Other Things to Note
Power Plugs Points
Request the casket people to setup Power plugs points for charging of mobile phones and such. They will come in useful as many devices now is dependent on electricity, Get multi plugs / extension cords. so you can power multiple chargers, fans, radios, at the same time.
Fans
Since we are in Singapore and it could get quite hot in the day and even at night, it may be useful to strategically position fans around. There will usually be at area where family members gather in the front, so fans are needed there to keep family cool. If commercial fans are too strong, you could bring your own fan along so long that you have power points.
Caterer information
If you intend catering for the wake, check out the caterer. What they offer (vegetarian, halal) and who is good, what their prices are, etc. Some of the caterer will need you to book X days in advance, so you might need to plan ahead.
Also, on the last day after cremation, when everybody return to the wake area, the family of the bereaved will treat a meal to thank those who attended the cremation ceremony. So you may need to take this into planning as well.
Season parking
If you drive and carpark at the wake is chargeable by cashcard, there is a temporary season parking for the bereaved $10/day which you can apply from HDB. You can apply in any HDB branch office / service centre during office hours.Here's the link:
http://www.hdb.gov.sg/fi10/fi10327p.nsf/w/CarPark1TemporarySPBereaved?OpenDocument
For those coupon display type of car parks, you can usually park close to the wake without the need to display coupons. The summon people usually can understand. As an additional measure, I wrote a large text 'family of the bereaved' and displayed on the dashboard of my car.
Funeral Supplies
I am referring to the drinks, peanuts, table plastic, trash bags. Most funeral suppliers allow you to return if it is unopened and in its original conditions. (They really check when at the end of the funeral). Packets drinks in cartons of 24 (not 6), peanuts, trash bags, even red thread]. So you may need to plan how much you need to use and open new supplies only the old supplies has been exhausted.
For drinks, we always face this dilemma whether to open and put in the fridge (So that it will be cold) or when the cold supplies run out, just serve un-cold drinks. What can be done is that if the fridge is dry (it usually is), put the whole unopened cartons into the fridge and put as many as you can. It would usually be cold the next day. This way, you can always serve cold drinks and still return those that are unused.
White Gold (Pek Kim) Money
Each family will probably has their own style but for my family, we would like to appoint one person in charge and anything to do with Pek Kim, go to this person. Also, it will be a good idea for this person to carry the money, perhaps in a pouch or bag, wherever he/she goes.
Heading for Cremation
IMO, the part that is the saddest throughout the whole process is when the family is walking the final journey with the hearse and during cremation process. Prepare plenty tissue papers. you will need it. Also, things that you want to bring along might be :
Red packets (if you want to show good gestures to the casket / crematorium people)
Mineral Water (drink water sort of stablises the emotional feeling)
I hope you find these information useful. Any things that you think I missed, please comment below and I will do my best to address them.
人生自古谁无死
差别分于在何时
往生立解苦病痛
并非不良事可得
Translation:
Since time, there is no man who doesn't die
The only difference being when is the time
When one die, one is relief of all illnesses, pain and sufferings
This isn't exactly a bad thing after all
